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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Farewell.

My perfect landing has come to a halt. I'll probably not blog here anymore unless..

I've moved to
http://samrenaye.blogspot.sg :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Pain.

Pain, makes me feel alive. Pain makes me feel like dying too.
Muscle aches, pain in the nerve and bones. Felt like dying as well as alive. Such contradictions.

Danced non-stop from 2030 to 0130 today. Five hours. May not seem a lot to some but the extent was great. So much that I was so overwhelmed. Never felt like this before. Never felt so sore before. Then I asked myself. What did I achieve today? Aches and sore. Obviously I cleaned up more on my moves but at the same time, I hit my limit. My limit for now. Things will just get more tiring this period and I know very well how much more it will get. A pity that we won't be playing with lights but also, I felt more at ease. This means that I won't have to put in anymore extra time yay. But I thought I could play with the lights one last time. Oh well, He has a plan for everything. I need some rest.

Rest, to ease the pain. Not only phsically, but also mentally. Pain in my head. I know very well what I should do but nope I'm not doing them. I'm in fact taking too much rest at times. But then again, I need more rest. What I need to cut down on is the leisure. Leisure brought by my laptop, leisure brought by the web. I need to get away from them.. Perhaps I should just stay out from tomorrow onwards. Just to focus on my studies, and come back at midnight.

Time, we are forever in a never-ending race.

Monday, October 06, 2014

Too Quick To Judge


Time really past like crazy when you are busy with stuffs, either with work or non-work related things. It's been more than a month since I last blogged and it isn't really a good sign. It means that I was busy for the wrong thing. Wait, am I too quick to judge myself?

I figured that if I don't pen down my thoughts now, it'll be gone forever. I really love how I communicate with my innerself through blogging. So here it goes.


People judge. They all do.
When I say that I don't judge, it doesn't mean that I really don't judge. It just meant that I don't intend to give an immediate conclusion to things I see and observe. I do have a first impression, but I welcome more insights and other points of view. People all judge. It's human nature. It's how our brain processes things. (Yes, how our brain works is a wonder but I'm not going into that since it's not my field of study.) A lonely girl snailing down the streets. The use of lonely here is judging. It's as simple as using an adjective.

#throwback
I took a long 45minutes walk back to Point B from Point A. Normally, it takes less than 20minutes. I have no idea why but my mood was down to earth. As I walk, tears fell freely. I tried to cover, hoping that no one saw and no one judged. I fear of judgement and I used to fear it a lot more than now. Strangers won't bother knowing what's happening at the back of your mind. Others don't feel you until they ask you why.


I tend to always have the default tired-looking face. In the past when others asked why I look so sad, I shook my head in silence. They judged, in the general way, not in the negative way that we all use now when we say "STOP JUDGING". They think that I am perpetually sad. They feel that emo-ing is all I do. I just don't know if I should tell, and I don't know what I should say. You know, I type and write better than I speak. I dislike speaking because I'm afraid that I'm too fast to speak that I am not filtering what I say. I don't want to end up like an idiot - I don't wanna get judge. Now? I will happily tell people that it's my default face, I am neither sad nor tired. I am just me. Judge in whatever way that you want because that part of me doesn't matter anymore. So, I often used my default face to make people less judgy of me, since they already have a judgement. Instead of people asking why I'm sad or tired when I really are, less people bother now. "Nah, she just looks like that most of the time". Often, I get this when there's something really going on in me. Most probably my family and friends find it almost normal when I just sleep in car or don't talk at all. But at times, I'm just so down that I don't feel like talking.

I do procrastinate. But procrastinating and doing something else doesn't mean that I really am an ultimate procrastinator. I feel no sense of achievement at times when I do the things that I need to do. I need to find meaning and see the point in doing before I do. Hence, my activation energy for most things is really high. People see that I chill most of the time; they thought that I am too free. However at times, I'm close to just giving up. Giving up on everything that I am doing in school now. Sometimes, I do feel the need for counseling to get rid of this negative thought. But then again, what will it change? In the end, I am the one who will want the change. Nobody can help. I'm alone in my own war. 'Cos forcing doesn't really work on me.

At times I procrastinate to do the things that I enjoy, things that makes me happy. I often go about the approach of "先甜后苦". People say to do the things that makes one happy. As long as I feel happy (and often feel guilty after not doing any work), what really matters at the end of the day?

What's more important? Being happy, or feeling "accomplished"? Honestly speaking, I do not have an answer.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

最候一次

对自己说这次
是最候一次了
但已不会实现
时间匆匆飞去
无人奈何得了

怎么了

怎么了  我疯了
感觉世界万物都停留
唯独我一人独自叹息
眼泪不自觉流下
怎么了  我疯了

有些时候  好懊恼
不能说变就变
表达方式不同
不能说变就变
变了就不是我
好懊恼  不知所谓

只想听一句留下吧
留下吧  我的爱
只想听一句
那一句  不存在

害怕  渴望  自私
你无法看透的我
那就是我

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

..-. . . .-.. ... / .-.. .. -.- . / .- / -- . -. - .- .-.. / -... .-. . .- -.- -.. --- .-- -.

Probably my luck has been used up thus far after turning 21. Either in a good way or a bad way, I will still need to get through it. Hopefully.

Remembering stuffs hasn't been my best aspect now..

Why.. D':

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

好想好想。。。

好久都没更新部落格了!
刚刚才把在甲米旅行的一切PO上网!往下看就找得到了!
不知不觉想用华文来诉说一切,但也知道这并不会太长。哈哈哈哈。好久没用了,还真不习惯。都不晓得我那十年来是怎么写作文的,全都还给老师了 xD

其实有好多好多的事情想要写下,但我发现到开学才第一天,就好忙哦……伟也一样 :(
其实也没什么,只是想花多一点时间认识周边的人,才会每天参加宿舍的活动。

最近发生了好多事情,但我总是说不出口。并不是不想说,就是不会开头。不想麻烦别人也不想泼冷水。在你面前我总是变得很软弱,很想要依靠。感觉就像个小孩子诉苦一样。。。唯独一个人静一静,还好些。每每看到在面簿的爱心早餐和大费周章的布置,心里就酸着。虽然也很想玩,但也感叹不用花钱也不用伤脑筋出新招。只好找其他东西来娱乐自己…

开学第一天,就碰到了外国的朋友,好开心 ^^ 和外国人打交道还是比和本地人打交道来得容易。虽然没有什么话题,但气氛也不觉得僵。可能是因为年纪的关系,和年纪比我小的人总是不太合拍。虽然有些时候感觉到有点谈得来,越谈越开心,但还是会收敛一点。

好累。
不管是体力或脑力,就是跟不上拍。
想要瘫在床上睡觉,但晚餐时间也要到了…
早知道会这么累,刚才就应该去睡先。
今天有了好大的进步!都没睡到午觉!!吃完早餐也没睡!

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

KrabyAdventure! (4/8 - 6/8)

#krabyadventure with baby! Which explains the Y instead of I ^^ okay I'm lameee lol.

Day1
And so...
#mandatorypassportshot #samtyytravels
P.S. Okay, so please ignore all my fats from this photo onwards hahah. I seriously need to go on a diet :( face too fat!!

This is actually like the most satisfactory shot hahaha I seriously look like crap in all the rest of the photos (still wondering to keep my fringe long or short :\ judging from all the other no fringe shots, I find having short fringe nicer, cos it keeps my forehead hidden and therefore having a smaller face. But babe likes it long ._. #confused)

Flicked our picture twice cos we couldn't get this shot at the beginning hahahah. Feels likka neoprint!

On the plane!! Wheeee #virgintriptogether First time taking AirAsia and it wasn't that bad! $95 two-way where to find?? xD
Arrived at the airport and bought the 3day unlimited data sim card for 200 baht.

And so, for our day 1, it rained when we reached and settled down in our room. How suay can we get?? Lol. So we nua on the bed while waiting for the rain to stop. The wind was just scary!! By the time we get our ass off the bed, it was already 7pm+ Krabi time, which means around 8pm+ in Singapore! So there's no time to go to krabi town and we stayed in Ao Nang (talking about it, I realised we didn't take a single photo of the hotel on the outside -.-)

So we stayed at Ao Nang Spa & Resort, quite a lovely place which costs us 2,000 baht per night! It's quite a cheap deal so we got it. Pretty impressed with the staff (dislike the other woman though) and the room!


Look how spacious it is!! It's quite big unlike what you see here. There's this empty huge space beside the bed! Took a video of the room but I guess I can't retrieve it anymore... x.x ohwell. We also took an airport transfer arranged by the hotel. It took us approximately 40minutes to reach Ao Nang. 1,600 baht for the whole van, two-way transport. Alternatively you can take their Airport Bus which costs 150 baht per ride. Decided to just save the hassle.

And so, since we came across a highly rated steakhouse online, we decided to give it a try! The GPS is pretty lousy -.- (by the way I love how close macs and starbucks were from our hotel!!! It's just a 5mins walk down.) Tried to walk according to the GPS but we failed badly so we had to seek help from the worker at starbucks. In the end, we realised that we walked the wrong way lol. Diver's Inn Steakhouse was the name of the fabulous restaurant! It is located just opposite the Siam Commercial Bank (purple signboard). From our hotel, you just had to walk away from macs and cross the road. It's super near yet we took 30 minutes finding it at the wrong end -.- ended up at the place at around 8pm+

The owner of the restaurant is a westerner! And his service is super good! He even asked us if the fan is too strong and if we know how to use the pepper and salt dispenser. Cute xP his attitude was great and the workers actually were pretty good too. Ordered Sirloin Steak with Mushroom sauce and babe's one was Ribeye Steak with Garlic Butter. I kindda prefer his sauce though haha.

Nice ambience with straw ceiling designs!

Mojito that costs around 90 baht! 
It was their seasonal promotion

Salad "buffet" that has practically everything

And on to the main!! There was so much juice in this!! Sirloin steak - well done. Regretted on the side dish though. Baked potato wasn't that good
Took a bite before this picture was taken because they asked us to try our steak first. First time eating, and it was nice. However I can feel the heat in it lol. Whole body kindda felt hot after, also due to the mojito of course. In total, this meal costs us 800+ baht. The steak was 300g and it costs 750 baht (INCL. the salad buffet). Perhaps 200g is just nice for me. 300g is definitely too much. Felt like I over-ate.

Day2
Woke up 630am in the morning and am surprised that I could actually hear the alarm and not oversleep. It's 4-island tour for us today!! Excited to see the beautiful beaches (instead of the not-so-nice beach at ao nang) and fishes!

And so this was our breakfast!
#yummy #looksnice #tastesnice
Simple breakfast with bitter orange as usual. Love western :) cos it's simple and nice.

Wadcha looking at? hahaha
Wore couple singlet cos I hinted to him that I have the same singlet hahaha. Seldom will we wear couple tee one kay. Success ^^ and obviously he eats so much more than me. Guys ah guys LOL.

Waited for damn long cos we got cheated by the staff. We were supposed to be down at 830 but they told us it was 8am. So we could have slept for another 30 minutes :( sobs. Finally the lorry came and fetched us to the bay at Ao Nang. The travel agency that they signed us up with was Kho Phi Phi Tour and it is definitely a good one with nice tour guide ^^ Forgot his name but he was quite nice and friendly! He didn't even ask for tips like the Phi Phi Island one that I went in Phuket lol.








And we reached our first stop - Rai Leh Beach! It was super nice! But this was where disaster happened. Shall skip it. Shall just jot down the good memories (;


So..whose skill better?? Obviously is MINE right!! I took the whole rock but he cut off mine!! I WIN LOL.



Our next destination! Walked from island to island cos the seabed was piled up high enough for us to walk across! Sadly my phone was in the cui waterproof pouch so the pictures come out misty :\ If not these two picture would have been more artistic!!! Oh yea, not a single filter was used for all the photos you see here cos I believe in natural hahaha.

HALFWAY THERE!!! #fatty1withfatty2
#blueskies #clearwater #perfect
This was how the "path" look like
The wind was too strong hence my bare forehead T.T
this was what made me rethink about keeping long fringe!
BTW, we walked all the way from the island behind us!!
#tired #achievement



Love the beach, the water, the sky, but not the sun hahahah.

Briefly passed by chicken island, though it looks more like a duck to me hahaha

#weirdexpression muahaha
And last island was Poda Island! Had our lunch there. The packed food was surprisingly good, so much better than the buffet for Phi Phi Island tour! Sorry, just had to compare hahah. The chicken was awesome and non-spicy (lucky for the boy) though it looked like curry chicken. Most importantly, there's egg!

I find this super scary!! There's a thunderstorm and rain out in the sea but it's still sunny on our side omggg. We were hoping for the clouds to just get blown away and not towards us lol.

#zilian HAHAHA

Totally not photoshopped! That's the scary sky omggg. First and last official photo that we dared to ask someone to take for us since the people there are all tourists~

Yeapyeap, everyone wearing bikinis except me! Conservative max hahah. Actually ashamed of my self LOL. I WILL GO GYM HARDER!!

And so, the whole trip costs 1,000 baht per person with packed lunch and snorkeling too! Didn't get to take picture of us in snorkeling gear since the collection of the gears were too fast lol. Glad that I still managed to enjoy myself :) (while bidding for the burden Science of Music mod, mehhh.)

And so, we took the songthaew (local bus which is actually a covered lorry) opposite our hotel to Krabi Town! This is the famous intersection!! SO I just had to snap a picture of it though the lighting wasn't that good.

Went to one of the night market there and it was REALLY a night MARKET. Why? They pack side dishes in plastic bags for sale, and it's really like those mixed rice where you just buy the dishes lol. Looks nice though~~ Tip: Go to Krabi Town only if you are there on a weekend trip. Because there is basically NOTHING much during weekday. The Vogue Shopping Mall sux a big time too. Too small!! But Dunkin' Donut was cheap over there according to babe. Oh well, I'm not a donut person anyway haha too bad~

This was what we bought for 20 baht! It's flour + coconut milk. I don't encourage you to buy if you don't have a sweet tooth! This is just TOOOOOOO SWEET!

Decided to then head over to Chao Fah Pier night market. It's more like an open air hawker centre there so THERE IS PHAD THAI!! Mad loveee. Have been craving for it since day1!!! Yayness^^ Had a hard time deciding which stall to order from and I realised they are actually all quite similar so we just chose one randomly. Ordered phad thai with thai milk tea while babe ordered pineapple fried rice with thai milk tea :) Love their milk tea too. Though there's so much milk in it x.x

The market!

This stall was at the back. They have this
"Clean Food Good Taste" thingy that is like our Grade A?



Thai Milk Tea! (20 baht)

Phad Thai! (40 baht)

Pineapple fried rice! (50 baht)

Tomyam Gong! (100 baht)

Overall the food is not bad luhs. Phad thai noodle was nice cos of its texture. Very chewy! Ordered the Tom Yam soup as well and babe actually agreed to drink it and he drank more than once hehehe ^^ The tomyam was a little expensive though! Met someone on the songthaew earlier and we saw her there again! Her name is Vivian :) Forgot what's her friend's name but it sounds like Anuk(?) hahaha. She intro-ed us the nicest phad thai there but a pity we've already finished our meal! She was super nice to let us try it~~ yumyum it's really nice! Then babe was telling me about how he crave for coconut ice cream but can't find it. IMMEDIATELY, she told us there's a stall which sells nice coconut ice cream at the same place omggg.

The stall selling the best phad thai! The stall that we ate at was just beside, at the background lolol.

Phad thai selling at 40 baht as well! Bought back for supper since we couldn't resist it.

Just when we wanted to get the coconut ice cream, SHE BOUGHT IT FOR US. Super nice!! Where do you find such nice strangers that you barely talked a few sentences to?? Lolol.

The stall with the coconut ice cream! It doesn't have condensed milk added, they replaced it with jelly instead lol

It's just at the second row, near the entrance to this Chao Fah Pier market! This market is actually at the end of the Soi roads, can cut across from Maharat Soi 2. Used google map to find this hahah.


Went back to Ao Nang on the songthaew right outside 7-11 beside Vogue Department Store. It's super obvious since the person will stop you to ask if you are going to Ao Nang. It's just opposite where we alighted~

The wind was too strong since it's driving at a super fast speed! After seeing how we failed to take selfie on the fast-moving vehicle, a western lady actually volunteered to help us take hahaha.
Head over to Sunset Hotel for their massage to meet Michelle! It was rated one of the best massage at Ao Nang so we decided to give it a try! 250 baht for Thai Massage (normal range) and we got the Aloe Vera one at 450 baht! Free fruit tea after that hehs. The aloe was really SUPER cold!!! Since we had to take off our clothes, I was practically shiveringgg! And I didn't know they will actually let both of us in the same area. Thought it's guy gal separate but apparently it's not~

After 1 hour of shiokness, went out and met mich and her boyfriend! Went for last shopping and bought 2 dress and 1 pants in the end. ONLY. :( for like 650 baht in total, which equates to like $20+? Not say very cheap but I'm satisfied with the quality given. I'm gonna go BKK soon next to raid the clothings there!!

Went to Full Moon bar nearby to get a drink and talk. Terry seems to be able to socialise with everyone...lol. Ended the meet at around 11+pm and all the shops were closed :( should have went to shop for more first T.T too much time wasted at Krabi Town!! Arghhh. Felt so sorry cos he didn't really get to buy what he wanted to.. x.x walked back to hotel and slept after soaking in the bath tub.


Day3
Woke up at 4am cos I was having a very bad stomach ache. Felt like puking and all so I went to the toilet and stayed in there for at least one hour :( totally in a bad mood..came out and felt the churning 5 minutes after I lie down on the bed zzz It was just horrible for the entire day even till I get back to Singapore.. Had my last phad thai at the airport at 120 baht, SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE! (Ohyea, the frontdesk lady - the one I dislike - forgot that we had paid transport back to airport kns. Made us wait for an hour at the lobby stoning zzz)

Krabi is no doubt a very chillax place but with not much stuffs to do hahah. But our flight timing really sux, couldn't do much too. You get what you pay for. It was still fun nevertheless with the unexpected meetup with the naughty girl! Looking forward to going overseas with babe againnn! :D By then he should be working already~ more money to go further places yayyy. Let's go Korea hahahahaha!