Reflect.

Haven't been posting anything on this page for quite a long time.. feeling kindda strange and unfamiliar with all these that I'm trying to get used to it again. This is a random reflection post so yeah..it's like a emo post so if you don't want to get affected or has no interest, you can close this window now.

Life has never been too kind lately. Sometimes I wonder if depression will be the end result. "The feeling of not wanting to do anything and that nobody can help you if you don't help yourself." - I often get that recently. Not that life's crisis has stroked, but just the lethargic feeling. Normally I would be typing how fun and meaningful CNY is but this year wasn't the same, and I wonder if it is just the start of more boring CNYs ahead in life. When everyone starts to have their own little family and that nobody is there to bother with you anymore, CNY just becomes as bland as the mere three words. Receiving red packets isn't the highlight anymore. If not for us to prove our point, I wouldn't even have opened all the red packets. Took less photos as compared to the previous years too; so little that you can count it with 2 hands. Everything has changed this new year, but I'm glad that I managed to spend time out with W. Caught a late night movie since we don't have to worry about transportation, but it became a burden when we wanted to go somewhere without a carpark. Sighhh #firstworldproblems

Period hasn't been kind to me too. I wonder when it did. Apart from it hindering my daily activities, now with dance, it made me feel soooo..indescribable.. Just inconvenience. And I thought that feeling emo from dance was already worse but cramps just made it worse. Made me wonder..what am I actually good at..? I've been searching for this answer for as long as I've lived but to no avail. What can I actually achieve in life.. I have no idea. Somehow the only thing that went on the right track now was having W with me. Nothing else. It felt kindda comforting enough though I still think of it everyday.

I'm getting so lost as to what to type. Lots of things running through my mind but couldn't be expressed in a suitable way. When typing couldn't express how I feel, I don't know how anymore.. *bottles up*

Hoping that this emotional roller coaster will come to a halt soon. Sux when I have to go through this every month due to hormonal changes. And so I wondered about W's question that day - is this what you really think or what your hormones think? :\

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To end of on a happier note, events are finally reaching one by oneee! ^^ It starts with this weekend! I love weekends yo! Heheh. Kicks off with tech training, SEP briefing, dinner with Jaelin, interview with SiuHon (ok not that looking forward to cos it's work!) and SP on sunday!! And lainey just ps me for sunday :'( sobss

Can't wait for next weekend toooo! Airshow with babe :D you can add on to your #firsttime list already hahaha!
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