Reflections.

I haven't been posting lately, even on dayre. At first I had this motivation to do it but I realised that in the end, it's impossible. This period is the period whereby everything just starts to fall and collapse on me and I'm truly struggling to get up on my feet. PMS obviously isn't helping much.. Everytime I'm down, I have pms as well such that things get worse sigh. Maybe it's vice versa, I don't know.

I sleep a lot lately and didn't go for classes though I promised not to. I'm like totally trying to escape from everything and everyone else, including myself. Time management has never been my forte. I planned to study this semester and where am I now? Nowhere. I didn't expect dance to take up so much of my time and it was my bad on that. Everytime I say that I want to start studying, the mindset is there but not action is taken. I very well know that I need to change this habit, but as what people always said, 本性难改. Yes, it truly is the case.

Recently, I got a new laptop. I thought I could make good use of it and it will motivate me to study but, well things always don't go as expected. Even Zhiyang is nagging me to study, but sometimes, it's all about the responsibilities that matter more than studies, for my case. I admit that I wasted a lot of time doing what seems to be useless, but on the other hand, I actually enjoyed doing them. I think it's time again to remind myself that I am here, staying in hall, for a reason. Not to study, but to experience life as much as I can. Of course I shouldn't compromise on studies but that's one thing that I've chose to sacrifice. Whatever the end result is, at the end of the days, I just need to tell myself that my University life is well spent. Cannot get a good honours? Does that really matter? Yes it matters for the first job and probably increment in pays. However, money isn't anything, right? Money is something, but there will always be a separate solution for it, I believe. So, I should just apply for jobs now LOL.

[Brief updates on my crazy week from 15/03/14]

15 March

Went to USS and catched lightseeker with W :D weeee. Feels so good to see ex-colleagues (: Took photo with oscar and minions and the dino for the first time too hehehe. Too bad we had no fate with cookie monster :O lightseeker was just awesome too :) The acrobats were like ohmygawddd! *standing ovation*

16 March
Had DU vetting, not one of the better runs but oh well, we don't have to show too good a performance we just need to shine on that day itself right ^^ hehehe. 自我安慰 max.. The choreos are really always very encouraging! Though it was a bad run, they still encouraged us and told us it was okay. Thanks so much :) It helps a lot you see.

17 March
CMB rehearsal + usual dance practice. Tired max, so much so that I don't feel like doing anything, yupp. Am always nervous when I know someone is watching, so obviously ToT

18 March

PONSTAR CONCERT!!! Yayyy. Finally one down!! Totally don't know what was going on my mind hahahaha I just danced with total dao attitude lol. First time on stage, first stage photo after a long time :) Photo credited to Amanda! x3

19 March

DND 2014! DanSHers KPOP Debut! Hahahaha. This was the highlight of my DND for this year :) Not as a comm member, but as a member of DanSHers KPOP! ^^ Though we buang like siao and timings were super off, we still managed to get the crowd's attention and the energy was there! Many said they liked the girls item yayyy :D So happy to do what I once wished to do :) So glad to be given the chance to be dancing with them on stage, especially a kpop dance! Achievement unlocked! Love our blazer too hehe. Shall bring it overseas to wear :P

20 March
One of my rest day, but in the end I still went down to help out with IHG closing as a tech crew lol. Love to see W at 'work' :DD Probably it's one of the reasons why I get attracted to him. Not on the kiddy part when he explores the board but when he knows well what he does hahah ♥

21 March
Rockfest! Ahhhh forgot to take a tech crew photo againnn. Forever can't remember :( Partly because I need to rush off early for dance too. Busybusybusy. That's the thing to prove that I'm alive - by keeping myself busy with stuffs lol. I thank Rei for being so assuring when my name wasn't in the list (since I wasn't an official member), and not just kicking a fuss when I told him "Maybe it means that I can go back already lol". "Don't say that. I asked you to come." That was his reply :')

22 March
Dance in the morning till 1+pm. Surprised that the choreos were late hahaa. Initially I thought that I was already super late and they are going to scold us again but no ^^ seems like I was lucky hahah. So sorry for not being up to standards yet :( went bugis for the nth time in search for a black high waist shorts and end up decided on buying a star shorts as well since it's 2for$20 hehe. Good buy I would say :D Then later at night, went to get my lappy!!

Not the chioest of all but looks nice and simple and sturdy :) And it totally has the macbook feel lol. Hope it'll last me at least till I graduate!! :)

23 March

Lunch with W at Penny University! :) Miss going out with W since we're all so busy now.. glad to be able to meet up! Eggs benedict ftw hahaha. And I love the Honey Almond Cake!! Yumyums!

Mum and sis made this later at night and yes it's damn niceeee :D Especially the scrambled eggs! So much better than what sis cooked in the morning lol. Trust me, I can have All-Day-Breakfast for every meal, never getting sick of it lolol.

24 March

HAPPY 3RD MONTHSARY! :) Didn't realise that we didn't take any photo..nuuuuu x.x
Believe or not, though it doesn't look as tasty as it is, it's damn awesome! First time trying to cook scrambled eggs and it came off pretty well, with the baked toast and cheese, 绝配 I tell you!! Just that the eggs need to be more wholly, rather than bits-like. And maybe I added too much milk. Shall work more on perfecting my scrambled eggs after finals ^^

Thanks for accompanying me till late after me being disappointed by stuffs and all that.. Sorry that this monthsary wasn't as good in terms of mood at the end of the day. Thanks still for trying to make me happy in your ways :):)

25 March

Was so frustrated about stuffs that I simply had to get out of hall to take a breather. Sometimes I wonder if I'm overloading myself in a way or another and trying to do the impossible.. Walked back to the place where we first had our little chat after supper eating icecream we bought from 7-11 since the icecream shop was closed down lol. Feels so refreshing and relaxed there, though it became a little chilly and scary x.x still, a nice place :)

26 March
Block meeting which became a debate in the end. Talking about who's 'right' and who's 'wrong' doesn't solve the problem. The problem all lies with communication. We need to learn to have effective communication in the block yo lol. If you want it, initiate it. Don't push it to other people's responsibilities. Learn how to be in other's shoes and think for them. Else, you fail as a member of the society and you should jolly well not complain so much..

Comfort food after the meeting :D BUT I STILL WANT MY SPICY MUSHROOM ToT

Kay, that pretty much sums up my week, or slightly more. Time to sleep and prepare for SHout rehearsal tomorrow! Excited because I can officially not care about lessons for the time being LOL.